Goodbyes and Alienation

My sister was inconsolably miserable about her best freind leaving yesterday. She was all red eyed and crimson nosed and wouldn't have me hug her as it wouldn't ameliorate the agony. The strangest thing is she isn't a sentimental one. Infact, she claims that people don't affect her- she is content, infact rather complacent in her world of music and books (she was born with wires in her ears is the joke that goes around). Anyway, he seems to have become an integeral part of her world, and he's leaving for good. I guess deep inside we are all vulnerable. She's perhaps choosy about the people who can hurt her so.

It has been the season of endings for me too. I'm done with the M.A. program in JNU. I hate goodbyes like everybody does and so I havent given separation from my little family that is CESP the slightest thought. We will meet again, its not the end. But it will never be the same again. Maybe it still hasn't hit me, maybe I still haven't realized how final it is, maybe my condition is better than my sister's because we are all moving on, "its easy to leave than to be left behind". I will however, not indulge in an exercise that recounts all memories and experiences in the past two years. More than being beautiful, it will be unbearable.

Other mundane news: Construction activity going on at home which means i stay confined in my room whenever I am at home. Although I have gotten used to the constant drilling and hammering down of walls (white noise is what it has become), the dust that chokes my throat, the rubble i have to walk through to make my way to my room; I still have to come to terms with the laughing, badinage, cursing and constant chatter amongst the labourers which becomes even louder when I am around. I am convinced its an alienation exercise. I tried to to fit in once. I noticed a youngish girl who was helping with the cement layering. Concerened about her education and in an attempt to try to make conversation and break the ice with the invaders, I asked her whether she goes to school. "Mistri banna chahti hoon" angry eyes flashed back at me. "Kyoon mistri", she shouted at a man laying down the beams, "Meri labour banoge?" Laughter filled the room. Its her territory and I'm uninvited.

I was supposed to write a post in reply to A's question about how power dynamics is overcome in village level decision making. It would draw from the lessons learnt from my Unicef internship wherein my team and I eavluated a community based monitoring intervention. He also wants to know whether a similar mechainsm can be used to deal with the asymmetries so called multilateralism is replete with. Next time, I promise.