I would be a fool to wish that things in life be certain and that I may be in control of everything. As I toss around each night, unable to sleep, way too anxious about what is to come next, I find myself searching for them 'constants'.

Constants. What you'll always have. What can't be taken away from you. That even when life pulls a horrible trick on you, you can just hold onto them and mock it in the face. My little survival kit, my defining characteristics.

At the same time I want to be wary of those who aren't here for good. No, I don't mean I don't want them. I just want to be able to identify them. To let myself know who I can let in and who I should not depend on.

It could be a futile activity. They say everything in life is ephemeral. I'm just sick of being vulnerable and being guided by the vagaries of fortune. I need to get my act together and move on. And decide who and what all I should choose to take with me.